What Does It Mean to Live Intentionally (and How Do I Start)?
Have you ever looked back on a week and thought, “Where the hell did my time go?”
It’s a confronting moment - not because the week was chaotic, but because it was forgettable. No real markers. No major wins. Just motion…
That was me earlier this year. Life wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t aligned. It was like there was a haze over the front of my mind. I was showing up, but not really there. Going through the motions, performing the script, but not feeling it.
I wasn’t disengaged out of laziness - I was just drifting. Until I realised: nothing changes until something changes.
That moment made me stop and ask: Am I living intentionally - or am I just reacting?
Living by Default: My “Autopilot” Season
Back then, my days had a familiar pattern. Hit snooze more than I’d like to admit. Skip the morning gym I swore I’d get to. Arrive at work a little rushed, caffeine-deprived, behind the curve. I'd catch up, grind it out, squeeze in a session and then crash into the evening with mates, some sea swims, and whatever spontaneity I could get my hands on.
On paper, it wasn’t bad - I was socially active, physically moving and having fun. But mentally? There was a disconnect. I wanted more - more alignment, more purpose, more clarity. And yet, I wasn’t doing the things that led me there.
I wasn’t tired from overworking. I was tired from under-living. From habits that no longer served me. And the longer I stayed in that rhythm, the more I felt the quiet echo: Where the fuck is this going?
Research shows that when we operate in a reactive, habit-driven loop, we’re more likely to experience cognitive fatigue and psychological misalignment (Wood et al., 2002). That was me - operating from default rather than design.
The Turning Point: Walking My Talk
Things shifted when I began building structures around ACE. If I was going to guide others, I had to walk my talk. Trust, credibility, connection - all of it starts with alignment.
I’d been through some personal challenges and internal transitions. And we know from the research that life transitions; be it relationships, work, or identity - can trigger psychological disruption, but also the potential for deep personal growth (Bridges, 2004; Schlossberg, 2011).
I realised: if I didn’t become the architect of my day, I’d keep living in someone else’s blueprint.
That was the catalyst. Not burnout. Not breakdown. Just a steady, honest voice inside that said: Practice what you preach. Get intentional. Close the gap between good and great.
Designing My Day: Small Shifts, Big Impact
The first step? Asking myself:
"How do I want to feel at the end of today? This week? This task?"
That question changed everything. Because suddenly, I wasn’t just managing time. I was managing energy. Emotion. Intention.
I began identifying what truly mattered - not in one lightbulb moment, but gradually. During the mundane. Brushing my teeth. Hanging laundry. Noticing what thoughts lingered when the noise quietened. And slowly, patterns emerged.
I started building my day around three anchors:
What’s important to me?
How do I want to feel?
Where can I pause, reflect, and recalibrate?
Some days were smooth. Others a bit messy. But I began stacking small wins. Celebrating progress. Choosing alignment over perfection.
The Flourishing Framework became my compass. Grounded in Seligman’s (2011) PERMA model - Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment. It provided structure and a language for intentional living. Where traditional to-do lists fall short, the Flourishing Framework prompts a “to-be” list: Who do I want to be today?
It’s not about getting everything done. It’s about doing the right things on purpose.
The Flourishing Framework: From Theory to Tool
So, what is the Flourishing Framework?
It’s a daily performance blueprint built on the science of positive psychology and human potential. A simple, practical tool designed to help you move from autopilot to action. From functioning to flourishing (Seligman, 2011; Ryan & Deci, 2000).
Its core pillars include:
Intentionality
Strengths-based focus
Psychological energy management
Reflection
Gratitude
Purpose
Connection
Resilience
You don’t need to overhaul your life to use it. Just start with one moment.
Ask yourself in the morning: “What mindset and energy do I need to bring to today?”
Or at night: “Why did today go the way it went?”
That’s where design begins - not with grand plans, but with one honest question.
Living by Design: An Ongoing Rhythm
Where am I now? Still in the rhythm. Still learning. Some days I hit flow. Others, I hit walls. But the difference now is that I notice the rhythm. I know what better feels like. I know how to return to alignment.
The visible rewards? Higher energy, sharper focus, more deliberate wins.
The invisible ones? A growing sense of self-trust. The quiet joy of knowing I’m steering this ship.
I’m not “there” yet - maybe we never are. The goal posts always shift. But I’m building something real. With consistency, patterns emerge. With reflection, meaning deepens.
And when life throws curveballs? I don’t always handle them perfectly. But I don’t disappear in them either.
Closing Invitation: From Reaction to Design
So let me ask you:
What would one designed day look like for you?
What could change if you gave yourself permission to flourish - not just function?
What’s one thing you could shift by tomorrow?
My challenge to you:
Reflect on your week. Rank it from 0 to 10.
Then ask: What one shift could move that score closer to a 10?
What’s within your control? What’s your next right step?
Because in the end - it’s your life. No one else can design it for you.
References (APA 7)
Bridges, W. (2004). Transitions: Making sense of life's changes. Da Capo Press.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
Schlossberg, N. K. (2011). The challenge of change: The transition model and its applications. Journal of Employment Counseling, 48(4), 159-162. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2161-1920.2011.tb01102.x
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. Free Press.
Wood, W., Quinn, J. M., & Kashy, D. A. (2002). Habits in everyday life: Thought, emotion, and action. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(6), 1281-1297. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.83.6.1281