WHEN SUCCESS LOOKS GOOD; BUT FEELS OFF.
How losing direction led me to create ACE.
From the outside, things looked fine. I had a good career, was living in Sydney, and on paper, it all looked like it was moving forward. But beneath the surface, I was off course.
I lost my spark. Spiralling self-doubt. Perceived to be on the right track. Internal chaos & conflict. My relationship broke down, I’d lost connection with my closest mates, and I wasn’t showing up as the person or professional I wanted to be. I was saying one thing and doing another - masking, performing, and drifting. I said yes too often, lost my voice, and felt disconnected from what mattered.
Looking back, I was running from myself. I’d stopped listening. I’d stopped leading myself. And eventually, everything began to unravel.
That experience - uncomfortable as it was; forced me to pause. It made me realise that alignment isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Without it, you can appear to be thriving while quietly falling apart. That’s where ACE began.
Disconnection: The Cost of Drifting from Your Values.
At the time, my environment looked great from the outside. I was surrounded by opportunity and the appearance of success. But internally, I was lost.
I wasn’t clear on my values, direction, or purpose. I’d fallen into the trap of being busy without being purposeful - a pattern many leaders and high performers know too well.
The human tendency to drift from alignment is well recognised in psychology. According to Deci and Ryan’s (2000) Self-Determination Theory, our wellbeing depends on autonomy, competence, and connection. When those are out of balance, we feel the strain. I had lost all three.
The result wasn’t just stress; it was confusion. I’d become reactive rather than intentional, and that lack of clarity began to leak into every part of life.
Realignment: Rebuilding from the Inside Out.
The turning point came when I started rebuilding from the inside out. I reconnected with lifelong friends — people who had known me since I was thirteen — and began rediscovering what I stood for.
I reflected on the kind of person I wanted to be, the energy I wanted to bring, and the type of impact I wanted to have. I began to coach myself; not through quick fixes, but through structure and reflection:
What do I value?
What direction do I want to take?
Which habits help, and which hold me back?
That process became the foundation of ACE - Align. Conquer. Elevate.
ACE: A Framework for Alignment and Performance.
ACE isn’t theory. It’s a practical coaching framework grounded in lived experience and positive psychology.
Align: Find clarity; values, purpose, direction. Re-establish the compass before you move.
Conquer: Develop the mental skills to do hard things; resilience, adaptability, focus.
Elevate: Sustain performance through positive emotion, energy, and meaning. Feeling good isn’t extra; it’s the engine.
ACE began as my personal recovery process. Over time, it evolved into the professional foundation I use to coach athletes, executives, and teams.
At its core, it’s about helping people bridge the gap between intention and execution; creating a philosophy that guides how you think, act, and lead.
The work I now do is built around four pillars:
Personal Philosophy – defining the principles that guide your decisions.
Self-Awareness – understanding your mindset, strengths, and blind spots.
Mental Skills – building the capacity to do hard things with purpose.
Positive Psychology – learning how to feel good and function well along the way.
Each pillar builds on the others. You can’t conquer without alignment, and you can’t elevate without awareness.
Applying ACE: From Experience to Coaching Practice.
Working with the South Sydney Rabbitohs for three seasons and the Gaelic Players Association for five years has shaped my perspective on performance and leadership.
The lesson across every level; from players to executives - is simple:
You can’t perform at your peak if you’re not aligned.
When people understand who they are and what matters most, everything else follows: confidence, consistency, composure.
This aligns with Seligman’s (2011) PERMA Model - performance and fulfilment stem from positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning, and achievement. High performance isn’t about doing more; it’s about doing what matters, in a way that energises you.
Research by Kashdan and Rottenberg (2010) reinforces this: psychological flexibility - the ability to adapt your mindset and behaviour to change - is one of the strongest predictors of wellbeing and performance. Through ACE, I help people build that flexibility via alignment and self-leadership.
Ongoing Work: Leadership as Maintenance, Not a Milestone.
Today, ACE continues to evolve. What started as a personal framework is now a process I use globally with leaders, teams, and athletes.
But the truth is - the work never ends.
Alignment isn’t a milestone; it’s maintenance.
Every week, I still coach myself using the same process:
Check your direction.
Understand your patterns.
Face the hard things.
Remember to feel good along the way.
The past few years have shown me that clarity doesn’t come from control. It comes from curiosity.
When you understand your philosophy, you stop chasing what looks good and start living what feels right.
That’s alignment.
That’s ACE.
References.
Seligman, M. E. P., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2000). Positive psychology: An introduction. American Psychologist, 55(1), 5–14.
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2008). Self-determination theory: A macrotheory of human motivation, development, and health. Canadian Psychology/Psychologie Canadienne, 49(3), 182–185.
Grant, A. M. (2017). Coaching for performance and well-being: A brief guide to evidence-based coaching. Coaching Psychology Review, 12(1), 8–16.